January 2017
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The Biggest Question

So why weight loss surgery? I mean, come on Fat Chocobo Mom, eat less! Workout more! It’s.just.that.simple!!

To be honest, that is one of the dumbest statement I’ve ever heard. If eating less and working out worked for everyone, obesity wouldn’t be the problem it is. New diets would be created every 15 days, and the diet industry wouldn’t be a million dollar industry. Simple statements like the above don’t take in other factors.  Look, this is a scientific fact. There are other factors, outside of what you eat and how much you move. There’s genetics. There’s diseases. There’s differences in metabolism, and which foods our bodies react to. There’s external factors, like childhood upbringing, and stress.

Weight loss surgery is not the easy out. It’s a tool that can help a person lose weight. A tool that involves surgery, and all the side effects and risks. I’m a big woman, with poor genetics, and medical reasons that make weight loss difficult. I like to think of it as a reset button, something to get me back to a better baseline. It’s a tool to help me lose while I address mental hunger, comfort eating and redefining the relationship I have with food. Even after I have surgery, I intend to continue to see a therapist, and to attend support groups. Instead of living to eat, I will eat to live. But I’m under no delusion- this will be hard.

Nor do I think I’m going to walk out of this some skinny super model. I’ve been plus size all my life, and I know that I’m going to have a lot of excess ugly skin. Insurance doesn’t pay for skin removal, as that is a cosmetic surgery. I do this because I want to be healthy. I want to eliminate diabetes, I want to reduce my risk of heart attack and stroke. I want to be able to work out without as much pain so that I can live a long healthy life. I want to see my kids grow, and grow old with my husband. I don’t want to die young like my Mother, her mother, and even my father.

I would not do this if I didn’t think it’s worth it. I’ve seen negative people who still cling to the belief of calories in, calories out. I’ve seen them trash people who’ve had surgery, and those who fear for their loved ones say “but you could die.” It is my thought that if I stay obese, I face a bigger risk of dying of heart attack, stroke, or even the complications from diabetes. My choice is scientifically based, with an overwhelmingly supportive scientific and academic basis.

It’s hard to imagine, but despite being a little afraid (Who likes having surgery?), I’m also excited. To get healthy, to lose weight. I’m not excited about the “diet” aspect, particularly the first 3 months of post op food.  Full liquid diet the first 3 weeks. Purees for another 3 weeks…soft foods for another 3 weeks after that. But during that time, weight is lost, and there’s a lot of mental training happening. Relearning.

Of course, there’s also vigilance. At no point can I ever return to enjoying food at the level I do now. But I recognize that level is unhealthy. Even after I return to “normal” foods, it’s in tiny quantities, with a focus on limiting sugars, and fats.

To be honest, I’m ready for it to all happen so I can move on. This is the sort of boring part. It feels more like mental preparation, when I want action. I’ve never been the patient type. And like I said, I’m scared, of course. There’s risks, and the fear of the unknown. There’s knowing there’s going to be some really miserable parts. I just have to believe it’s all worth it. Hopefully my wait won’t be too long. I mean, it makes for some boring blogging, doesn’t it?

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